fluffy cloud biscuits!!!

“holy crap! these biscuits are so good, it would insult them to slather earth balance all over them. no! it’s NEVER an insult to slather something in earth balance! never! wait, i think i want to slather me in earth balance. YES.” : this is what you will say after you make these biscuits.


________________


story of biscuit misadventures:

my roommate shawn made these biscuits and shared them one saturday morning. They were fluffy and soft and perfectly flavored. and it was a fluffy soft and perfectly flavored day. i put raspberry jam on mine despite its perfection….because we also had perfect jam, homemade by the mother of another one of my roommates. woah, i’m lucky to know these people. anyway, i demanded the recipe, which shawn wrote down for me. a week later i made the biscuits and they were terrible!!!!! i don’t know what happened, i don’t remember very well. but the point is, despite years of cooking experience and a “chef’s training certificate,” i can’t follow directions or do anything right until i’ve already had some coffee. addiction is bad, because it can ruin your biscuits. the second time i made these biscuits, i also ruined them. but now i’ve made them several times and can say this recipe is solid. it is important to sour the milk, and it is important to mash the fat into the flour before adding the milk. it is also important not to forget you are baking and leave the room for too long. and it is important to wash the dishes so your roommates won’t hate you.

________________
actual recipe:

preheat oven to 450 degrees.

sour a cup of non-dairy milk: add 1 tsp vinegar to 1 cup non-dairy milk

mix together:
2 cups of flour
2 tbl baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tbl nutritional yeast (optional)


cut into the flour mixture: 4 tbl earth balance (or 5 or 6 tbl. just saying.)

pour the non-dairy milk into the flour/fat mixture, mix it until all the flour is absorbed. the batter should be thick and fluffy, remarkably like wet biscuits. if the flour isn’t totally absorbed by the dough, add a little more non-dairy milk.

spoon the biscuits onto a baking tray. it can make 10-12 medium-sized biscuits. bake for 12 minutes. rejoice. make some gravy.

notes:

vinegar: i usually use cider vinegar as my all-purpose vinegar. you can make cider vinegar by yourself if you leave cider out on your counter long enough.
flour: i’m into ½ cup whole wheat pastry flour plus 1 ½ cup white pastry flour, but you know, use what you got. 100% white flour will result in fluffy white clouds. 100% whole wheat flour will result in healthier but heavy biscuits. my roommate uses spelt flour. it also works, i think it tasted better actually.
baking powder: not baking soda. pay attention, carmichael.
nutritional yeast: i think it makes them a little heartier and more interesting, but if you want fluffy white clouds, omit it.
cut: you could use a pastry cutter or two knives. i used a fork and just squashed the earth balance into the flour until the fat was evenly distributed in pieces the size of pebbles.
earth balance: it’s just yummy. sometimes i use some coconut oil (it helps if you want fluffy white cloud biscuits). a liquid oil won’t work as well, but you can chill olive oil until it’s solid, and keep all the ingredients cold until you pop them in the oven.