id wants

this is disgusting.

i'm trying to cut myself off from sugar and chocolate by not buying any.
(ok, i'm not trying very hard.)
but then i got desperate to put some theobromine into my sad head.

how to be disgusting and remind yourself of past failures at the same time:

find whatever scraps of cocoa are in your apartment and mix them together:

-1/2 cup frozen cupcake frosting (i made in october when trying and failing to get a job as a pastry chef)
-3 triangles of ibarra mexican hot chocolate mix (left behind by roommate who stole $500 from me over a year ago)
-2 tablespoons mexican hot cocoa mix (left behind by same roommate, may he fall in a hole with rock salt and asbestos on the bottom)
-1 tablespoon coconut butter (ok, this is actually really good.)
-1 cup somebody else's soymilk. (sorry.)
-1 tsp vanilla
-1 tablespoon corn starch (left behind by??? which old roommmate? i sure didn't buy this stuff. yuk. why is this crap in my apartment? why am i eating it? i'm throwing it out now.)

melted together and then mixed with coffee. it's actually really bad and i don't know why i'm posting this.

i feel sick.